Walgreens in union square has a lingere section. Who is the designer behind the walgreens lingere collection? Who buys bras at walgreens? They’re located next to the mens deodorant which doesn’t seem like a product that would make sense next to ladies undergarments. But what do I know? Maybe ladies buying bras at walgreens happen to like more of a musky scent or, men buying deodorant at walgreens wear cheap bras.
Found these in the back of the bottom of the chip section at my local deli. None of the standard chip selection really spoke to me the way these did. The cool hippie chick wearing a world peace t-shirt assured me “they’re awesome” and if there’s anything I know it’s that cartoon hippies are excellent food critics.
I found this terrifying eagle folder at my dear friend Kristen’s humble abode. Kristen teaches at a junior high in Harlem and scored this sweet folder from the school’s store. For quite some time I was so scared of this eagle picture that I barely had a chance to notice the rest of the beauty of this folder. The caption reads:
IF I CAN SEE IT, I CAN BE IT.
I BELIEVE I CAN FLY, FLY, FLY:
BY GETTING A GOOD EDUCATION!
SO DON’T BE A FOOL AND QUIT SCHOOL,
BE COOL AND STAY IN SCHOOL!
THINK ABOUT IT!
$1.75
I’m pretty sure originally this was supposed to be a verse from R. Kelly’s smash hit “I Believe I Can Fly” and then one of two things happened. Either there was a copyright issue and they couldn’t secure the rights to use R. Kelly’s words of inspiration. OR…the 17 year old junior high student who was in charge of creating this folder typed out the first two sentences of the lyrics, saw something shiny and forgot what he was writing.
The folder is right though, you can “fly, fly, fly” by getting a good education (at flight school) or with the help of a powerful hallucinogenic.
My favorite part of the poem is the very popular A, B, C, D, D, A rhyming structure it follows. Rhyming it with it and school with school.
Also, i like that the folder doesn’t want to put a lot of pressure on students. Encouraging students to just “think about it!” when it comes to staying in school. Because hey, we all know that junior high isn’t for everyone, but I think that the very reasonable price of $1.75, this folder is.
5. the bowl haircut is making a come back.
4. paula abdul will make a cameo during the premiere of drop dead gorgeous.
3. marching and bondage go hand in hand.
2. girl can shimmy.
1. there is an artistic statement involved.
An open letter to the zit on my face
Dear zit on my face,
Hey! You’ve been hanging around on my chin all weekend and we haven’t really officially met. How did you like Banana Schpeel, that show I took you to on Saturday? Season Finale of LOST, kind of lame huh? I took a nap on Sunday, a point where I think you decided it was time to come a little further out of your shell and get to know the world better.
It’s been a joy carrying you around on my face, really it has. I feel like if you stay a little longer, you may start to become somewhat of a conversation starter. People will say “Hey I think you have some food or ink on your face.” and I’ll reply “No no, that’s just my good buddy, giant zit.” and then everyone will have a good laugh. Oh zit, you’re such a comedian.
Here’s the thing though…GET OFF MY FACE. You have over stayed your welcome. I included you in all of my weekend activities, dressed you up in the finest concealer I own and even listened to you yammer on and on about how no one will ever love you. Clearly you didn’t take the hint when i tried to tell you the gentle way and smeared Neutrogena Spot Eraser all over you and your surrounding territory last night. So you know what? No one will ever love you zit, because you are a real inconvience to everyone’s face and my self esteem.
Please leave my chin. I would prefer not to have to get Proactiv involved.
Hugs and kisses - Julieanna
